24 Funny Drummer Jokes

People like to throw shade at drummers, and according to most band members, it’s not unwarranted. Somewhere along the line, drummers have built a slightly negative reputation of being lazy, unreliable, and a little frustrating to work with. If you’re a drummer and you’re reading this, and you aren’t like all the other drummers out there. We believe you. 😉

All in good fun, here are 24 of the best drummer jokes.

1. What’s the last thing a drummer says in a band?

“Hey, how about we try one of my songs?”

2. What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?


3. How is a drum solo like a sneeze?

You know it’s coming, but there’s nothing you can do about it.

4. What’s the first thing a drummer says when he moves to Los Angeles?

“Would you like fries with that?

5. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five. One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart could’ve done it.

6. How do you get a drummer off of your front porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

7. What’s the difference between a drummer and a 401k?

One will mature and make money.

8. What did the drummer say to the band leader?

“Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?”

9. How do you know a drummer is at the door?

He doesn’t know when to come in.

10. How do you get a drummer to start playing?

Start tuning your guitar.

11. What do you call a drummer without a band?


12. Who’s the guy who always hangs around with the band?

The drummer.

13. What is the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?

About 6 bars by the end of the song.

14. What do you call a drummer with half a brain?


15. What did the drummer get on his IQ test?


16. How do you know if a drummer is following you?

You can hear his knuckles dragging on the floor.

17. How do guitar players park in the handicap spots?

They put drumsticks on the dash.

18. Why do drummers always lose their watches?

Everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.

19. How do you confuse a drummer?

Give him a piece of sheet music.

20. Did you hear about the drummer who graduated college?

Me neither.

21. “Hey dude, how late does the band play?”

“Oh, about half a beat behind the drummer.”

22. What do you call an emotional drummer?

A drummer queen.

23. What do you call a doctor who is also a drummer?

Dr. Ummer

24. Three musicians and a drummer walk into a bar…😂

Written by Bo Weber

Supporting artists since 2014


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