FEMA Tents and an Infamous Cheese Sandwich: 10 Reasons the Fyre Festival Failed

The Fyre Festival was pictured to be one of the most revolutionary festivals in the world. Its promo video gave the impression that festival goers would consume music on a private, perfect island filled with celebrities and influencers.

It was a new idea, but the Fyre-y vision quickly burnt to the ground.

Netflix and Hulu both released documentaries about it on the same day. Here are ten reasons why Fyre Festival failed that they highlighted.

1. Planning a music festival on a remote f’ing island wasn’t a great idea

The original plan was to hold Fyre on Norman’s Cay in the Bahamas, a tiny and almost completely deserted island. It may look nice from above, but what common amenities do celebrity influencers want? Electricity…water…toilets! Lack of infrastructure was not taken into consideration during the planning of the festival.

2. Forced to relocate 6-12 weeks before the festival

Fyre Media had a “no adverting” clause about the island formerly being owned by Pablo Escobar. They blew that within the first minute of the promo video, thus being forced to relocate to Great Exuma island within weeks of the festival.

3. JA Rule is your celebrity spokesperson? WTF

I will let Dave Chappelle do the talking with this short, simple example: throw a world-renowned chef the keys to a jumbo jet and say take it for a spin! The outcome may not be what you expect.

4. The festival was announced less than five months in advance

Normal music festivals are planned for 9-12 months, and they usually only need to account for an empty field, access to overpriced drugs and alcohol, smelly port-o-potties, and a crunchy band line-up. Fyre blew expectations with promises of sunny beaches, luxury accommodations, and top of the line catering in less than half the time.

5. Luxury Cabanas = FEMA issued hurricane tents

Concert-goers were promised a large private cabana on the beach. Instead, they got a dome in a gravel pit. That’s pretty close right?  That’ll be $8,000, please!

6. Announced major headliners without mentioning their new hobby…Wire Fraud

Fyre Media breached almost all music contracts within one day of the agreement. The main issue was the assumption that artists enjoy performing for free. All the bands ended up pulling out.

7. They thought that booze is as hydrating as water

Fyre Media ordered $2 million dollars worth of alcohol (and at a tax rate of 45 percent) and only four shipping containers worth of water. They were only able to pay one bill, so guess which one they chose? You guessed it: “grandpa cough medicine!” Instead of paying for the water, they gave one of their staffers the impression he would literally have to suck the head of Bahamian customs d*ck for water.

Luckily for him, they released the water without any oral disagreement, but customs is still owed $175k!

8. Sold imaginations with an orange square

Let’s be real: this can be looked on as genius or as stupidity. Fyre advertised with a beautiful person and a fancy video but NO sponsors. Instead, all the “influencers” involved simply put this orange square on their Instagrams at the same time.

Everyone has a sponsor for everything. How did festival-goers miss the warning signs and still get “influenced?”

9. Was organized by a guy named “Billy”

With minimal research, I easily discovered his internet fingerprints on stuff that pre-dated Fyre Festival. Surprise! He ran another company that was belly up. It followed the same business model and carried the same goofy, douchey looking guy.

10. The whole festival got destroyed by a cheese sandwich

The infamous Twitter post by @trev4president, who has 568 followers, showed the world the top level catering of the Fyre Festival! It caused such a backlash that many people stayed home and ended what will be known as the shadiest festival in history.